Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My Other True Love

Many of my readers and people who know me, know that running is a huge part of how I identify myself.  I am known in the group of people I hang out with as "the runner".  This past year, running and I took a bit of a break from each other.  I still ran every month, but not with the passion or dedication I used to have.  I did my St. Patricks Day 5K  as well as my half marathon in June on no training.  This August, I had a brief moment of passion and dedication to running- that lasted about week.  Now, as I sit here drinking my post-run chocolate protein shake (made with almond milk and I added organic peanut butter) I am here to say, the passion is coming back.  The dedication is starting to become apparent.  Running is starting to become a loving relationship again. 

This has not been an easy few months for me and I wont pretend that life has been all rainbows and sunshine.  While dealing with and sorting through some life situations, I let running fall to the back burner.  And its stayed there for quite some time.  My body quickly fell out of shape, yes I'm still toned and fit- I didn't stop working out completely- but my cardio endurance is basically at beginners level.  There is nothing wrong with being a beginner, but going from running low 5 min miles and a high 4 min mile here and there to training at 8:30-10 min miles has been a bit defeating.  

Monday, I realized things needed to change.  I have a training plan on the fridge, I stare at it daily- but I was only running 1 or 2 of the days out of the 5 a week I had planned for myself.  My fiancé and I are registered for 2 races this month and another next month, with plans to continue to race through the winter- therefore, training needs to be happening.   Monday, we started and we are holding each other accountable. 

Today, I didn't want to run.  It would have been much easier to dwell on the past and how fast I used to be and let myself get depressed and sit on the couch and cry.  But, I laced up, I got out there and I ran.  Sure I ran at a slow (for me) pace, but I felt good, I negative split, my knees didn't hurt as bad as normal and most importantly I DID IT! 

I could cry about the past and where I am in comparison to the last few years and I could go the route of depression, OR I can realize, like most things, results don't happen instantly and things take time and work.  It takes 2 weeks to fall out of shape and 8 to get back into shape.  My body needs to readjust, relearn, and rebuild to get back to the pace I once held.  If I never get back that pace, that's okay too.  I did a lot of damage to my body with overtraining the last few years.  I have bad knees and they aren't going to get better overnight, and there is no guarantee they'll get better at all.  But with dedication and putting in the work, I will see where I can go; I'll gain strength and endurance, and I will get stronger and faster.  

So today, I choose to not give up.  I choose to hold on to my dreams and to chase them.  I choose to set goals and to achieve them. And I choose to love- to love my body for what it can do and to love myself as I am.

Until next time:

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