Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Get Your Freekeh-On

A few week ago, I was afforded the opportunity to review a product called Freekeh, by Freekeh FoodsWhat is Freekeh you ask, click here to learn more!  I had my fiance go to their website and pick out some recipes that he would like to try and then we went shopping and got the ingredients for me to make everything. This is the recipe that I decided i would also like to try:  

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However, i did modify it slightly to meet my tastes and it didnt turn out in the chili texture. Instead of garlic cloves, i used garlic salt.  I did not measure the amount i used. I just sprinkled it in on the veggies as they were sauteing.  Also, i precooked the freekeh so i didn't add any water to the mix.  (thus, it had a solid base instead of a liquid base like most chili's).  I sauteed all the veggies then added the tomatoes, beans, jalapeno, and tomato paste.  Then, I stirred that all together and added the freekeh. Before stirring in the freekeh, i sprinkled fajita seasoning all over. (I used that instead of chili powder).  Then i stirred in and let simmer for about 15 minutes. 

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After my "Chili" had simmered and cooked for 15 minutes, it was ready to be served! My fiancĂ© loved it!  I really liked that I hadn't added the extra water and had cooked my Freekeh prior to adding it to the mix, it made a thicker consistency and was enjoyable to eat.  My fiancĂ© compared it to his mom's stuffed peppers- which is one of our favorite dishes to eat! I thought it even tasted better then the stuffed peppers!  Needless to say, we #LoveFreekeh and are adding #Freekeh to our menu and plan to enjoy it a few times a month! I was extremely satisfied with the product, and love that Freekeh is organic and healthy! I used to be a huge brown rice fan, but #Freekeh has up to three times the fiber and protein found in brown rice, and fewer calories than quinoa and white rice. Freekeh is a great choice to use in recipes you already enjoy, from salads, to soups, to main dishes—the cook times are comparable to brown rice, so it’s easy to choose Freekeh! (from fitapproach campaign description).

I still have the Rosemary Freekeh to try and am very excited to explore that flavor palate! :) I also had the opportunity to share some #Freekeh with a friend and sent a package to my mom! She is always looking for new recipes and healthy foods to try out and is very excited about receiving her package of Freekeh and I'm sure she will #LoveFreekeh

Overall I give Freekeh and A+ in my book and am so happy to have had the opportunity to give it a try! I cant wait to get my freekeh on again!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Motivating Factors

Do you ever find yourself wishing you were the way you used to be?  I don't wish to be who i was, im glad im who i am today as ive grown a lot and i believe that everything happens for a reason.  But, when it comes to running, i find myself constantly look back at 2 years ago and last summer.  I was in better shape, i was more motivated to run, and i was faster.  I was also insanely alcoholic and pushed myself harder in my running then i should have (thus constant nagging pains and injuries) because i felt i had to "punish" myself for having had drinks the night prior.  My mantra then was "no pain no gain".  Lets just say, I gained a lot of pain, more then i should've.  I didn't listen to my body.  I risked injury after injury.  Two years ago, i pushed myself to do an 8mile treadmill run with a pulled hip flexer and held an average pace of 6:20 per mile. Not only was that a horrible and stupid idea, but i risked hurting myself so much more.  So, why am i constantly focusing on the way i ran then?  Because, then i had motivation, be it a bad reason, but it was there.  I was dedicated to running.  I had to prove that i could run- who i was proving this to, im still not sure, but i was doing it.   But, life changes, things happen, and i lost a bit of motivation along the way.

Last week, i was felt motivation coming back.  I was jazzed up, registering for races, planning workouts, making schedule, posting to LiveForFitness LLC facebook page, doing multiple yoga practices- I was feeling like "ME" was coming back.

Then this week hit.  My fiance is on a business trip out of state and honestly, when he isn't around, i lose hope. I feel like a lost puppy. I have moments of motivation.  Moments of "yes, ive got this" and 10 minutes later I find myself sitting on my couch, watching reality tv and saying "I'll run tomorrow" or "I'll go to the gym tomorrow"  All i hear from myself are EXCUSES!
I am an athlete, I am a runner.  Yet, i act like a lazy bum and give up so easily.  Is it part of the depression im battling, yes, but its lack of hope, lack of motivation and self-doubt.  

I have always been good at what i do. I have always striven to be the best.  To be better then the best.  
"Good, better, best
Never take a rest
til your good is better
then your best"

And recently, i haven't been my best- or close to it.  And its been a very defeating feeling.  Im not used to feeling out of shape and having trouble breathing while i run.  I finished my half marathon in June and had to go straight to a med tent and get an oxygen mask.  That is not what im used to and does not make me feel like im a good athlete.  And i don't want to be good, i strive to be great.   This week, i have slacked.  I ran a strong (for the shape im currently in) 4miles on Sunday, and have had yet to lace up my running shoes since.  I lost motivation.  

I just really needed to get that out there.  I would love to hear how any of my readers have pushed through similar situations or what helps you get past loss of motivation and put your running shoes on! 

Until next time:

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Seeking to fill the void

Do you ever feel like you are constantly seeking something?  I feel like I'm constantly "soul searching" or looking for answers and ways to improve on myself and my life.  My life isn't bad by any means, I have all that I need and more than i would've ever imagined.  Yet i am constantly seeking for something.  I have recently started to work with a new sponsor- she pointed out to me that a lot of songs have artists singing of desires and wants.  Everyone is searching for that missing piece.  

I have recently started to rework my program of sobriety- after two years of physical and emotional relapses.  I have found that when alcohol was removed my life got better- until it stood still.  Alcohol is gone, but what have i replaced it with?  I gave up my coping mechanism- I used alcohol for so long as my way to "check out" and numb myself from thoughts and feelings. So now what am i left with?  Well, i unfortunately have found myself back in the grips of my anorexia. I've talked a lot lately about comfort zones- drinking was comfortable until it wasn't, but my eating disorder (which i have struggled with since i was 11 years old) has almost always been my security blanket.  ED is always there for me- but that is wrong thinking. ED isn't there for me, he is instead consuming and controlling me, making me sick, anxious, afraid. Bringing out more of my character defects.  He causes me pain.  Why do i always turn to him? Because its comfortable, because i don't run the risk of facing the unknown- Because I am still seeking to fill that void. 

(the following is my personal beliefs and opinions, if you don't agree- that's is okay! we are all entitled to our own belief systems or lack of.  I don't wish to push my beliefs on anyone).

So back to my point about working a program with a new sponsor- My sponsor was pointing out that everyone is seeking something.  The thing is, what i am seeking is God.  I just didn't realize it.  In the program i work, it is very important to stay in conscious contact throughout my day with my Higher Power.  If i stop talking to my HP (higher power), i lose that connection, and i can lose myself.  When i am in contact with my HP throughout the day, I am a better person.  I don't have to go through this life alone or afraid to ask for help.  My HP is there for me, as long as i can remember to seek Him.

 "God could and would if he were sought" 

So my point is, this void i feel, the one I tried to fill with alcohol and now my eating disorder, is my lacking relationship with my HP.  I need to remember to talk to my HP everyday, throughout my day.  When I do that, i can ask for help, I can pray for my defects of character to be removed, I can pray for my HP to guide me to live the way i am meant.  I know i am not meant to live my life as an anxiety prone anorexic.  I am meant to help others, to run fast and strong, to eventually be a mom- and a good one at that.

I just really needed to get my thoughts down today.  I don't mean to offend anyone with my post, nor am i looking for anyone to debate with me.  These are my own personal thoughts and writing them down helps me.  I am a work in progress, and this is a part of my journey to a better self.

 Much love to all.  

Questions for you:

Do you find yourself constantly seeking to fill a void? What do you do to fill it?

What are 5 things you are grateful for today?