Many of my readers and people who know me, know that running is a huge part of how I identify myself. I am known in the group of people I hang out with as "the runner". This past year, running and I took a bit of a break from each other. I still ran every month, but not with the passion or dedication I used to have. I did my St. Patricks Day 5K as well as my half marathon in June on no training. This August, I had a brief moment of passion and dedication to running- that lasted about week. Now, as I sit here drinking my post-run chocolate protein shake (made with almond milk and I added organic peanut butter) I am here to say, the passion is coming back. The dedication is starting to become apparent. Running is starting to become a loving relationship again.
This has not been an easy few months for me and I wont pretend that life has been all rainbows and sunshine. While dealing with and sorting through some life situations, I let running fall to the back burner. And its stayed there for quite some time. My body quickly fell out of shape, yes I'm still toned and fit- I didn't stop working out completely- but my cardio endurance is basically at beginners level. There is nothing wrong with being a beginner, but going from running low 5 min miles and a high 4 min mile here and there to training at 8:30-10 min miles has been a bit defeating.
Monday, I realized things needed to change. I have a training plan on the fridge, I stare at it daily- but I was only running 1 or 2 of the days out of the 5 a week I had planned for myself. My fiancé and I are registered for 2 races this month and another next month, with plans to continue to race through the winter- therefore, training needs to be happening. Monday, we started and we are holding each other accountable.
Today, I didn't want to run. It would have been much easier to dwell on the past and how fast I used to be and let myself get depressed and sit on the couch and cry. But, I laced up, I got out there and I ran. Sure I ran at a slow (for me) pace, but I felt good, I negative split, my knees didn't hurt as bad as normal and most importantly I DID IT!
I could cry about the past and where I am in comparison to the last few years and I could go the route of depression, OR I can realize, like most things, results don't happen instantly and things take time and work. It takes 2 weeks to fall out of shape and 8 to get back into shape. My body needs to readjust, relearn, and rebuild to get back to the pace I once held. If I never get back that pace, that's okay too. I did a lot of damage to my body with overtraining the last few years. I have bad knees and they aren't going to get better overnight, and there is no guarantee they'll get better at all. But with dedication and putting in the work, I will see where I can go; I'll gain strength and endurance, and I will get stronger and faster.
So today, I choose to not give up. I choose to hold on to my dreams and to chase them. I choose to set goals and to achieve them. And I choose to love- to love my body for what it can do and to love myself as I am.
Until next time:
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